why?

i'm stressed...guess everbody is anw...2 months left before the papers...on another note...some things juz keep running in my mind...i said on Sunday that i dun eat in school...but sometimes i do bring my own food...i kept thinking about wad u would think of me when i said that...i'm not crazy to starve myself...i kept wondering wad if u misunderstood me and not like ppl who not eat or sth...i wanna tell u reasons though...its like a stupid think to worry about...but thats juz me...i kept telling myself that i dun wanna become like her...but sometimes her influence is juz too strong...or its juz me...i dunno...i dun wan my prelims to come but i wanna get over and done with it...sometimes i feel like i hv to live with a mask...literary on not...is showing negative emotions equivalent to showing your weaknesses?it sure feels like it works that way sometimes...i'm scared i will become a me that i dun wanna be...i scared i'll revert back to my old ways...but anw...my tots aren't exactly ver organised now...i'm juz blabbering away...thats the purpose of this blog anw...and i'm being attacked...not physically though...i can't really relate it to anybody though...anw...gotta go study...after blabbering..i hope i feel :)

can i not think of a title?

i also wanna eat...wadeva i wan whenever i wan...but what would happen to my body?ok nvm...not important...anw...i'm stressed...never felt this way before...but i have nobody to tell...lest i'm being tot as over-reacting...i really wanna get into that school...i ahd always wanted to...even before last year...i'm just more determined this year...i would never be so comfortable to express myself again.phobia of being hurt...phobia of being betrayed...我不知道我所想象的会不会成真。但我会一直祈祷，如果是上帝的意思的话，那就让
我有力量继续爱你。我不知道已经过了多久，但我无法想象我自己爱上别人。有时候真的很希望能对你说"我爱你"。看到你那些照片，看着你不停地发简讯给她，我不知应该以什么态度来反应。想跟你将好多事，但不知道你会有什么反应.我知道我也许配不上。但我会努力。。。把在我能力范围内改掉我能够改的缺点。给我一点时间。自从那次听到你对我的意见我会尽力便得更乐观。现在正在听3首歌:

林俊傑 - 我還想她
淚水將我淹沒 到底誰該難過
究竟是誰放掉 這段感情
我才終于明白 辦不到的承諾
就成了枷鎖
現實中幸福永遠缺貨

請告訴她 我不愛她
笑著難過 自我懲罰
想終止這 一切掙扎
橫了心說真心謊話
別告訴她 我還想她
恨總比愛容易放下
當淚水堵住了胸口
就讓沉默 代替所有回答

我才終于明白 辦不到的承諾
就成了枷鎖
現實中幸福永遠缺貨

請告訴她 我不愛她
笑著難過 自我懲罰
想終止這 一切掙扎
橫了心說真心謊話
別告訴她 我還想她
恨總比愛容易放下
當淚水堵住了胸口
就讓沉默 代替所有回答

我不愛 我不痛 我不懂
我的心早已掏空
真心話言不由衷

請告訴她 我不愛她
笑著難過 自我懲罰
想終止這 一切掙扎
橫了心說真心謊話
別告訴她 我還想她
恨總比愛容易放下
當淚水堵住了胸口
就讓沉默 代替所有回答

別告訴她 我還想她
就讓沉默 代替所有回答

周杰倫 - 說好的幸福呢
你的回話凌亂著
在這個時刻
我想起噴泉旁的白鴿
甜蜜散落了

情緒莫名的拉扯
我還愛你呢
而你斷斷續續唱著歌
假裝沒事了

時間過了 走了
愛情面臨選擇
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
離開時的不快樂
你用卡片手寫著
有些愛只給到這
真的痛了

怎么了 你累了
說好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不說了
愛淡了 夢遠了
開心與不開心一一細數著
你再不舍
那些愛過的感覺都太深刻
我都還記得

你不等了
說好的 幸福呢
我錯了 淚干了
放手了 后悔了
只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著
要怎么停呢

你的回話凌亂著
在這個時刻
我想起噴泉旁的白鴿
甜蜜散落了

情緒莫名的拉扯
我還愛你呢
而你斷斷續續唱著歌
假裝沒事了

時間過了 走了
愛情面臨選擇
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
離開時的不快樂
你用卡片手寫著
有些愛只給到這
真的痛了

怎么了 你累了
說好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不說了
愛淡了 夢遠了
開心與不開心一一細數著
你再不舍
那些愛過的感覺都太深刻
我都還記得

你不等了
說好的 幸福呢
我錯了 淚干了
放手了 后悔了
只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著
要怎么停呢

怎么了 你累了
說好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不說了
愛淡了 夢遠了
我都還記得

你不等了
說好的 幸福呢
我錯了 淚干了
放手了 后悔了
只是回憶的音樂盒還旋轉著
要怎么停呢

但是要提醒自己更乐观。。。所以。。。就听
周杰倫 - 稻香
對這個世界如果你有太多的抱怨
跌倒了就不敢繼續往前走
為什麼人要這麼的脆弱 墮落
請你打開電視看看
多少人為生命在努力勇敢的走下去
我們是不是該知足
珍惜一切 就算沒有擁有

還記得你說家是唯一的城堡 隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑 小時候的夢我知道
不要哭 讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑
鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好

不要這麼容易就想放棄 就像我說的
追不到的夢想 換個夢不就得了
為自己的人生鮮艷上色 先把愛塗上喜歡的顏色
笑一個吧 功成名就不是目的
讓自己快樂快樂這才叫做意義
童年的紙飛機 現在終於飛回我手裡
所謂的那快樂 赤腳在田裡追蜻蜓追到累了
偷摘水果被蜜蜂給叮到怕了 誰在偷笑呢
我靠著稻草人吹著風唱著歌睡著了
哦 哦 午后吉他在蟲鳴中更清脆
哦 哦 陽光灑在路上就不怕心碎
珍惜一切 就算沒有擁有

還記得你說家是唯一的城堡 隨著稻香河流繼續奔跑
微微笑 小時候的夢我知道
不要哭讓螢火蟲帶著你逃跑 鄉間的歌謠永遠的依靠
回家吧 回到最初的美好

i hope u(one of my classmate,not the same person as i mentioned above) will become more optimistic too...:)

just random.

i realise that its kinda a trend to post vague sentences and stuff...and i do that too...i din anybody about my blog...haha...lets see how long it'll take before my friends actl find my blog and noe its me...haha...i went to the airport to study today...pigged a lot...i dunno what came over me...but i juz pigged...i'm starting to sleep very late...like 2am...and i wake up early like 7 plus 8 plus...goes back to sleep and then wake up at a very shocking timing.its not very healthy and efficient...i wanna start serious studying and revision for my o levels...but sometimes i'm juz scared...of what?i'm not really too sure...i lost confidence in my amath, supposedly my better subject...its only a few more months...so i juz tell myself to perservere...so Gambate!

THAT DAY AND TODAY.(18/6/09)

a few days ago, when i was using the toilet, i saw IT crawling over the celling, and since it was out of reach, i decided to juz leave it...then today...i woke up at 8am, made myself to be able to breathe properly and went back to sleep around 9...and then woke up at 11 plus...settled some brohter's night stuff and then...this is where the interesting stuff began. i got a bowl and was going to get a spoon to scoup come rice up and heat it up to eat and guess wad i saw...i saw IT...i wanted to try to oversome my fear of 8-legged creatures.so i grabbed 3 kitchen towels and waited for the perfect moment and chance to crush its body...ewww...thinking of it give me the jitters.ok...it hopped behind the chopping board and then behind the oven...i lost victory...ok the story doesn't ends here.but i lost my inspiration to write about this event anymore...haha...hmm...but in the end my mother killed it la...haha

second last day before midyears start.

i'm bad at blogs...its probably i haven't been posting for who noes how long...lolz...and i seriously need to stop eating!haha...ok letes see...i have to chiong my chemistry A &E preoject, el weekend bites, and study ss...well done...hiaz...felt a little sick in the morning...then after the 15 mins sleep at chinese lesson(teacher never come,if come comfirm cannot sleep...can hear her voice two classrooms away) i felt better...theres nothing really interesting about my day besides knowing that theres a new class couple...ok...i came home and haven stop pigging since...can't really blame me coz my parents juz came back home with a whole lot of junk food...dunno if i swallowed a chewing gum...tmr is another day of school...hope will have more interesting things to post...haha...and my dear Jitni(Xinning) get well soon ok!<3

A NEW START

It has been a long time since i last blogged. i created this blog for some enlgish assignment that i had to do but decided i shall try to keep this blog alive...so yea...will try to change the blogskin soon.